BUTTER

Packed and posted the next business day by USPS Ground Advantage, then 3-5 business days in transit. Everything leaves from New Caney, TX, just outside Houston — the west coast sits at the long end of that range, the south and midwest at the short end. For the best chance of it landing before the 31st we recommend ordering by October 22 — that way even the slow end of the transit range still gets there. Once it’s with USPS the delivery date isn’t ours to promise, so later than that is a gamble.

No — and that’s deliberate. Every pack is pulled assorted, and all twelve designs are stocked in equal numbers, so each one is equally likely. Because each stick is drawn on its own, a duplicate is possible in a larger pack. The full case gives you the widest spread.

5.5 inches long — about the size of a real stick of butter, which is the whole joke. It’s slow-rising polyurethane foam — press it and it takes a few seconds to puff back to shape.

It’s a novelty stress squishy for ages 14 and up, not a children’s toy. It isn’t food and it isn’t edible. Keep it away from small children and pets — it contains small parts and is a choking hazard if bitten or torn.

The Halloween wrappers are seasonal. When they’re gone the next run will be a different design entirely, so the ones here won’t come back in this form.

Unopened packs can go back within 30 days for a full refund — just email us first. Opened packs can’t be resold, so those are final sale. If something shows up damaged, send a photo and we’ll replace it or refund you.